Nervous Energy

Nervous energy can creep up at any moment and blur our relationship with the world and those around us. An illusory reality seeps into every cell of the body and disturbs the mind with a very convincing story.

It may feel like an overwhelming cloud of suffocation or rising heat that can’t escape. A whirlwind of frustration or fear can overpower our senses. In a cycle of doubt, we can forget how remarkable we are, how far we’ve come and the love that surrounds us.

Everything that is good appears momentarily shithouse. What is already perfect becomes tainted and self-esteem wavers and confidence diminishes. I write this because I have experienced these feelings and thoughts on numerous occasions and am not always free from their grasp.

There are tools that can help tackle these burdens, but sometimes I am stubborn to use them. This resistance is fuelled by the ego, addicted to drama, clinging to suffering and feeding on negativity, disguising itself as the real self.

I like to think I am a positive person with buckets of light and laughter to share. I am fortunate to have beautiful people in my life, an awesome family and an encouraging partner who I love to bits.

I am grateful for the life lessons I have learned, and to my Yoga Teachers who have guided me on this path so compassionately. My heart has never felt more open, and equally I have never felt more vulnerable.

Despite these teachings and surroundings, I can catch myself falling into the trap of not-so-happy thoughts. All it takes is a little trigger, and a rush of anxiety can soar through me and linger for days, weeks or months.

I feel an uneasiness and restlessness worming its way through my body. The best way I know how to work through this discomfort is to move my body gently and creatively. I breathe into undiscovered spaces and focus my attention to sensations rather than thoughts.

Afterwards I sit or lie down and bring my awareness to any residual thoughts or feelings. There are some things that cannot be solved at a mind level, and so the only thing left to do is become a witness and observe. I trust that this awareness will bring forward the light that is needed.

What am I feeling?

Where am I feeling?

Who is feeling?

Nervous energy can quickly take hold of the mind and body and cause pain and suffering. In an instant of awareness, this energy can be transformed to a higher vibration and provide spaciousness, acceptance, peace and connection.

If you are struggling, remember you are your greatest teacher. Listen to what your body and mind have to say. Put down your phone and disconnect from social media for a while. Spend some time in nature. If you have a dog, give them your undivided attention.

If all of this doesn’t help, interpretive dance in your bedroom, wave your arms like a wild octopus, sing at the top of your lungs, paint a picture or write a letter and set it on fire. Intuitively do whatever it is you need to do.

If none of this helps, reach out to a friend or stranger, maybe they can dance or throw paint with you. If you are at a complete loss, eventually you will surrender and have no choice but to change states, release and heal.

What state of being are you mostly residing in?

A dull mind or light mind?

Is the past or future dictating how you perceive the present?

It can be hard to admit, but are you looking for something wrong? Are you comparing yourself to others? Are you honouring your SELF, as you are? See your SELF in others. Love the SELF.

We must take responsibility for our own happiness and be grateful for what we have and not take ourselves too seriously.

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Booze Hiatus

It has been 6 months since my partner Dans and I went off the booze! We have supported each other which has made it easier.

Those that know me would understand that this is quite the feat! I have guzzled many a grape in my short time on this Earth and torn up many a dance floor.

Will I ever drink again? Maybs.. maybe not, but for now, I feel pretty good.

Having an alcohol hiatus has been a positive experience in comparison to the lows it would bring mentally and physically. 

CHALLENGES:

Being asked ‘Why are you not drinking?’ and ‘When are you going to start drinking again?’

Feeling pressured to drink by others and not be a party pooper.

Saying no to drink offers and having to explain myself without seeming like a boring health freak.

Feeling nervous about going to social events sober and finding the confidence to socialise without the help of booze.

Feeling disconnected from friends because I haven’t gone out as much, and feeling guilty for going home early.

Not pouring a glass of wine after a shitty day or cracking open the bubbles when we’ve had something to celebrate.

Making a delicious dinner that would be matched perfectly with a wine, and instead sipping on tap water pretending it is a Shiraz.

Having general FOMO, fear of missing out.

POSITIVES:

Not being hung-over.. ever = AMAZING!

Waking up and going to bed earlier, falling asleep faster and having better quality sleep.

Feeling less anxious throughout the day, having more energy, and being able to share this with others.

Getting sick less often and having fewer colds and respiratory issues. 

Enjoying the little things, embracing simplicity, spending quality time with my partner and connecting to nature.

Tuning in to my subtle senses and practicing yoga with a brighter awareness and less negative self-talk.  

Recognising dull thoughts and channeling them in a more positive direction.

Realising I don't need alcohol to have fun or live whole-heartedly and connect with people. I can do these things by simply being myself, sober as a fairy… and save money too!

I can order a pot of tea at a pub… and that is totally fine.. who would have thought!?

The more sober I am, the weirder I am. Perhaps I am becoming more comfortable in my own skin. Less fogginess has created space in my mind and body for new sprouts to grow.

I’ve discovered new hobbies, such as becoming an indoor plant lover, gardener, terrible baker, war on waste advocate and maker of things, including wacky essential oil potions tested on my partner. Next I will be making my own soaps! #GrandmaLife.

CONCLUSION:

Time off booze has given me greater clarity in all aspects of my life. It was confronting to face how much I relied on drinking in certain situations.  My confidence in myself has grown since taking a break.

Sharing a wine with friends and family can be completely harmless and a beautiful way to connect and let go. I miss this aspect and who knows, maybe one day I will drink again. I am however completely content being sober and this is a wonderful feeling.

I hope this story inspires anyone who is thinking about taking time off the turps to give it a go. Who cares what anybody else thinks. Life goes on and you might just feel better for it.

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The Cave

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Create a space for yourself to tune in and tune out. True healing and connection occurs when we sit, guided by our breath. It may seem a fluffy notion or a waste of time, but to sit is a mega challenge and the greatest clarity, creativity and productivity can come of it.

This photo is of the meditation room in Shanti Mandir, a beautiful ashram in India, where I completed my Level 3 Teacher Training in Meditation and Yoga Psychology with Shantarasa Yoga early this year. 

I called this room 'The Cave'. We sat here for 3 x hour long sessions a day for 2 weeks, full of mosquitoes and delightful whiffs of cow dung. It was a mental and physical challenge to sit comfortably. I was experiencing serious body heat and felt like I was on fire!

I was working through my own sticky frustrations and struggling to let go of the self I think I know, my identity, relationships, past and future and unnecessary thoughts in between.

It wasn't until a week of deep practice that I began to surrender and was able to enjoy my meditations and not want to run for the hills, even just for a moment. Some meditations felt like complete disasters and others felt like expansive nothingness, and some like a psychedelic kaleidoscope. There were times I walked out feeling drunk like I had no legs. The 'who am I?' 'what is real?' questions were in full play.

Back home I have created a meditation space for myself to continue sitting, breathing, repeating mantras and chanting. There's no need to analyse, interpret or make sense of what I see, don't see, sense or feel during my meditations. I have trust that the body knows what to do and the breath will communicate what I need to hear on a subtle level. Naturally things fall into place and become more clear and vibrant.

The key is practice practice practice. Give yourself the time to practice and don't feel guilty for it. What could possibly be more important than getting to know your SELF? What good are we to others if we can't sit with our SELF?

All the answers we seek are within us. I've got a mighty long way to go.. it's exciting though! If you'd like to give meditation a go, we can practice together.

Wednesdays 6-7pm Hatha Yoga, followed by 30min Meditation

@ Mâché, 178 Wright St

 

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Welcome! First Blog!

Yay! I have officially launched my website to the world. A platform to share my love for yoga and spark creativity and inspiration.

Thank you for taking the time to visit this page. I am incredibly grateful to teach what I love and connect with you all. You make my job so rewarding and I learn something with every interaction. 

The good news is yoga is easily attainable and lives in us all and can be practiced anywhere, at any time.

May we explore..

The space between the breath

The space between the strokes

The space between the lines

The space between the notes.

These are the moments I feel most alive.

I will do my very best to hold a nourishing and supportive space for you to explore your minds, bodies and spirits freely.

LAUGHTER is the BEST thing on Earth. We will do lots of this.

I look forward to seeing you soon,

Namaste (The light in me salutes the light in you)

- Izzy